sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jan. 4th, 2011 10:59 am)
Partly sunny, 7C (11C)

I feel so overwhelmed right now it's not even funny. I woke up feeling so overwhelmed... God help me.

I so DO NOT want to go to work. I can't believe I was actually doing the math to figure out how much I'd lose out if I skipped a day... But I can't afford it--even if I can afford it, I can't afford it.

I also unearthed some extremely unpleasant information yesterday. Of course I'm ultimately responsible, but it's the one thing I asked my mother for help with and she agreed (having gone through similar trouble herself, I thought I could trust that) and now I'm so completely fucked over that it will, literally, take a miracle to resolve the situation. Or a lot more time than I have. Really, though, I should have anticipated this--well, actually, I did, but I didn't care because there's nothing I can do about it, anyway... Which means everything that seemed nearly within grasp is now possibly not even on the horizon... God help me.

This is the place we call "the edge" and I'm all over it. I just hope I've grown beyond being a monster to ppl just because I'm in a horrifyingly perilous position, myself. I smell a challenge!

Also : not to self--do not move in winter! It sucks!

Shit, time is fleeting...


sjcarpediem: (Default)

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