sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jan. 19th, 2011 10:35 pm)
Partly cloudy, 6C (0C)

Residence
I need to find an apartment. This is becoming stressful. Looks like I'll have to do the full-on Japanese style thing. God help me. I worry sometimes that not being able to settle in, yet, is going to start showing...

Work and Colleagues
Work is fine. Classes are fun. My confidence as a teacher is not misplaced. I'm getting a little burned out on meeting new ppl, though. I am technically an introvert, y'know. I have nothing in common with these other teachers at the company that I'm meeting (and I'm meeting so many! Plus all my new students... it's crazy and I'm not even as focused on my lessons as I am on keeping an even emotional keel to them). They've all (my colleagues) been in-country for 10+ years and are in marriages or serious relationships with nationals. Jack's sense of isolation makes itself present--ironically. Also, however, I kindof don't care anymore how well I do or don't gel with other foreigners. I have nothing to communicate to/with these ppl about : itsu ma-ma doori! Also, they brag about the craziest things. I try not to show it when I think they're being crazy, though, or challenge whatever they're bragging about--I figure in any culture (including a pidgin one but excepting Judaism) concealing one's horror at another's insanity is the least one can do, extra points for a pleasant expression in it's place.

Family
My father (the infamous non-father one) requested to friend me again on facebook. I turned it down (again) and sent him a message which said as politely and simply as possible that he should consider me dead as he is dead to me and to stop requesting to be added to my facebook (again). To which my "home-wrecking" (her word choice, not mine) step mother replied in a separate message with much drama about how she is saddened and how my father hasn't wished for anything by my happiness for all of the past 18 years, how for the past 20 years he's never done anything to hurt us daughters. and how he was always so heartbroken when we'd move without telling him where we were going. Yeah, I can imagine it. I have not replied [yet???]. If he's really so upset and really so sorry and really feels the way she claims, maybe he could start by speaking for himself. I don't want to hear his mistress's excuses for him two decades late. (Does that sound to you like I'm saying he should grovel? Because that isn't what I mean because I really don't want to hear it, though it's basically the only thing he could possibly have to say to me--of course he wouldn't though as he apparently doesn't remember trying to kill me, or at least doesn't think that's something he should be deeply remorseful about.) Actually, I'm kindof relieved he doesn't--I don't want to deal with his born-again Christian memories of the childhood he fucked ten ways from Sunday and no amount of remorse is going to change this ; that much I can gladly appreciate. These ppl are clearly more insane than I am and I have bigger fish to fry : see note on apartment-searching. God help me. P.S. seriously, why do I bother? But as long as they persist in their insanity, I can persist in imagining they do not exist in my world. So, in the end, we're all happy and I've been told that this is what matters.

Anime and amusements
This winter, I plan to continue watching Bakuman and Fairy Tail and to start Kimi ni Todoke S2, I'll try out Yumekui Merry but otherwise there's nothing good out. What is up with that? Plenty of violent and panty-shot anime, where's my sparkely reverse-harem crack!?!?!!

Life in the big city
Also, I went to a coin laundry tonight. It was ridiculously expensive. And by ridiculously, I mean 1,500 yen to clean and dry a week's worth of clothes (three pants, pijamas, a week's changes of underwear and socks, two towels, a scarf, a sweater and a blouse) split into a super and a regular load. I haven't used a dryer in a long time (um... over three years...)... I was nervous something might melt. This nervousness proved to be unfounded.

The company lets me plug in my computer to their Internet, but I'm trying not to be too much of a... mooch? Anyway, now that Tokyo police have run in their little brigade with sirens roaring declaring something unintelligible through the streets of Minato-ku, it's past my bedtime for a 5:45AM wake-up. In other words : that's all she wrote.

Xuu!
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jan. 6th, 2011 01:32 am)
Some clouds, 7C (2C)

Ahh... I'm officially, by my schedule, ahead of schedule with the packing and whatnot--but I'll just say that I've finally [!?! wtvr, it was me who did no packing for three whole days and wasn't even home for another two over the recent winter holiday..!#%!] barely caught up since that's more what it feels like. Seeing as how I have three nights left to finish everything off, I still might be staying up late Saturday night to be certain everything is sorted away properly.

I'm still debating just how to handle the packing of the modem and accoutrements. I'll probably put them in the big takkyubin suitcase even though I won't be using it until after my second move.... because god knows I'll just *have* to use the Internet half an hour before I leave and my cellphone browser somehow won't be enough...

Anyway.

I'm going to bed, soon, before I think about that (the time constraints and lists of work still to finish) too much.

I've been meditating a lot on prayer, lately. I don't think I wrote it down, anywhere, but "prayer" is a topic I intend to study during the month [and, god willing, not more!] that I probably won't be online after moving... Today I learned at least one very important thing about prayer--well, something I already knew, but an application point. Basically, I'm not going to ask or entrain god to help me anymore : instead I'll just be thankful for it. Oh, but, really... the metaphysical properties of the High Holidays are a cakewalk compared to all the depth and sophistication of prayer... I could (and probably will) study it for a lifetime...

P.S. I'm totally kicking the ass of this "being decent in spite of myself" challenge. And lately lots of students are telling me they think I'm a great teacher. I'm really trying not to get a big head over it, but it does give me a little more confidence that maybe beyond my adaptability, I have qualities and skills that will help me flourish in my new situation. I also hope my work becomes a little more fun, too, though. Y'know... I'll be in high school again. That's so crazy... given my fixation on "normal high school life" it's also pretty fascinating.
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Stephanie

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