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Partly cloudy, 15C (14C)
But don't worry, there's a limit to how much I'll drink tonight and I'm only halfway there.
I wandered tonight. It felt really good. I really needed it. But there's a limit to that, too. The night always ends, the body always tires. Et cetera, et cetera, und so wieder, und so wieder...
Sometimes I try to imagine a me that wasn't the seed of the God of Wind, a me who could stay in one place, who is surrounded by people she's always known and who've always known her, who respond to her, someone who doesn't feel like she was born both in the wrong time and the perfect time, in the wrong body and the atarimae one.... I can't quite do it. I start imagining totally unrealistic things : like that she's not ugly, and not suspicious of everything and everyone, like that people don't need to "understand" her, like that she's not strong enough to handle anything but weaker than everyone thinks she is, like that she feels the stars are far away bodies connected to herself so she feels small 'beneath' them... etc, etc, usw, usw.
Really I'm just murdering chickens. Maybe that's all I'll ever do. I'll go through life doing nothing but murdering chickens. Even if that's not the case, I don't want to be buried--I want to be utterly annihilated. I want nothing left ; so get some of my DNA while you can and maybe sometime after 2300 I'll be understood and my qualities will actually be sought-after... but probably not. ;-P If the real God has a problem with that, he's welcome to address it ; my eyes are open like those Levantian ziggurat dolls. And I mean that in the least suicidal way possible. :-) I'm bipolar II, ppl, my mania is your normal, mmkay? I'm sure it's not as bad as it might sound--but then, again, you're probably used to that from me by now... ;-) And this is my 'happy place'! Ohhhh... I'm SO~~~~ funny. But nobody knows it! I wonder what yours is... it's an eternal state of "why can't you trip like I do?" but I still want to know, or at least try to. Maybe that's why I like movies.
Anyway. I've gotta piss, now, and that's as good a note as any to end this post on. Bonzai and huzzah! Somebody have a drink with me, even vicariously! LoL! Don't worry, I know better than to think somebody's actually there. ;-D
But don't worry, there's a limit to how much I'll drink tonight and I'm only halfway there.
I wandered tonight. It felt really good. I really needed it. But there's a limit to that, too. The night always ends, the body always tires. Et cetera, et cetera, und so wieder, und so wieder...
Sometimes I try to imagine a me that wasn't the seed of the God of Wind, a me who could stay in one place, who is surrounded by people she's always known and who've always known her, who respond to her, someone who doesn't feel like she was born both in the wrong time and the perfect time, in the wrong body and the atarimae one.... I can't quite do it. I start imagining totally unrealistic things : like that she's not ugly, and not suspicious of everything and everyone, like that people don't need to "understand" her, like that she's not strong enough to handle anything but weaker than everyone thinks she is, like that she feels the stars are far away bodies connected to herself so she feels small 'beneath' them... etc, etc, usw, usw.
Really I'm just murdering chickens. Maybe that's all I'll ever do. I'll go through life doing nothing but murdering chickens. Even if that's not the case, I don't want to be buried--I want to be utterly annihilated. I want nothing left ; so get some of my DNA while you can and maybe sometime after 2300 I'll be understood and my qualities will actually be sought-after... but probably not. ;-P If the real God has a problem with that, he's welcome to address it ; my eyes are open like those Levantian ziggurat dolls. And I mean that in the least suicidal way possible. :-) I'm bipolar II, ppl, my mania is your normal, mmkay? I'm sure it's not as bad as it might sound--but then, again, you're probably used to that from me by now... ;-) And this is my 'happy place'! Ohhhh... I'm SO~~~~ funny. But nobody knows it! I wonder what yours is... it's an eternal state of "why can't you trip like I do?" but I still want to know, or at least try to. Maybe that's why I like movies.
Anyway. I've gotta piss, now, and that's as good a note as any to end this post on. Bonzai and huzzah! Somebody have a drink with me, even vicariously! LoL! Don't worry, I know better than to think somebody's actually there. ;-D
