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Mostly clear, 17C (18C)
I've felt pretty irritated and angry lately. Sometimes it seems to be all I can do to refrain from throwing a baseless hissy-fit. It's probably hormones. Body, you fucking suck and I hatehatehate you. Get with the program, Body.
Anyway, I feel like getting through the day is a monumental achievement and I should be rewarded, somehow, by the next day being perceived as less shitty. But then it isn't. My sleep average for the past thirty days is up to some ungodly number like 8h01m : that's some crazy high nonsense, right there, that is!
And honestly, my life could be so much worse in so many ways right now. I realize that. I do. And I appreciate it.
In the absence of donating blood regularly and not binging regularly I feel somehow like I've got too much life for what I'm doing with it. But then I'm so peeved about whatever nothing that I can hardly focus on using it for more--whatever little, insignificant, utterly selfish more I could....
God help me, I can't see an end to this.
In other news, the company has decided to discontinue garbage pickup at the school. Now they tell us. Now I get to carry 70litres of trash all across Kobe. [To secretly deposit bit by bit at my apartment, that is...] Joy! Really, I should just be glad I'm physically capable... that the route is reasonably level... that I can carry it after dark, which is late by time I leave the fucking office... etc... Besides, there's nothing wrong with carrying garbage.
There are plenty of things to be thankful for ; I don't get why I'm so irritated.
And this has been going on for longer than the garbage issue.
I'm sure everything frustrating that I perceive is just my come-uppance for something else.
I was thinking recently, you can do the impossible all you like but that doesn't make it any less impossible and you're gonna pay for it somehow.
Also that people bear and rear children out of some kind of death wish. Totally understandable, but I'd rather get death than children.... wtf.
P.S. I still want a horse and some mountains... Also some super-rich chocolate cake. And to scream obscenities. Into the wind, of course. Then I want a loooong soak in an onsen. For serious.
P.P.S. The rainy season reportedly begins next week.
I've felt pretty irritated and angry lately. Sometimes it seems to be all I can do to refrain from throwing a baseless hissy-fit. It's probably hormones. Body, you fucking suck and I hatehatehate you. Get with the program, Body.
Anyway, I feel like getting through the day is a monumental achievement and I should be rewarded, somehow, by the next day being perceived as less shitty. But then it isn't. My sleep average for the past thirty days is up to some ungodly number like 8h01m : that's some crazy high nonsense, right there, that is!
And honestly, my life could be so much worse in so many ways right now. I realize that. I do. And I appreciate it.
In the absence of donating blood regularly and not binging regularly I feel somehow like I've got too much life for what I'm doing with it. But then I'm so peeved about whatever nothing that I can hardly focus on using it for more--whatever little, insignificant, utterly selfish more I could....
God help me, I can't see an end to this.
In other news, the company has decided to discontinue garbage pickup at the school. Now they tell us. Now I get to carry 70litres of trash all across Kobe. [To secretly deposit bit by bit at my apartment, that is...] Joy! Really, I should just be glad I'm physically capable... that the route is reasonably level... that I can carry it after dark, which is late by time I leave the fucking office... etc... Besides, there's nothing wrong with carrying garbage.
There are plenty of things to be thankful for ; I don't get why I'm so irritated.
And this has been going on for longer than the garbage issue.
I'm sure everything frustrating that I perceive is just my come-uppance for something else.
I was thinking recently, you can do the impossible all you like but that doesn't make it any less impossible and you're gonna pay for it somehow.
Also that people bear and rear children out of some kind of death wish. Totally understandable, but I'd rather get death than children.... wtf.
P.S. I still want a horse and some mountains... Also some super-rich chocolate cake. And to scream obscenities. Into the wind, of course. Then I want a loooong soak in an onsen. For serious.
P.P.S. The rainy season reportedly begins next week.