Thunderstorm, 13C (12C)

Lately, I've really been getting a kick out of gratitude. Being thankful for various things gives me real pleasure. Enjoying the pleasures I experience compounds them. I've been getting increasingly strong inklings to this effect for some time, but this past week, especially, has really beaten the point home. It's well beyond trite aphorisms about joy and thankfulness. It makes me happy. And I know it does--which makes me even happier. Because I've done a lot of hard work, I can find something to be thankful for no matter what ; which means I can be my own sustainable source of happiness, at any given moment and in any given situation--which has been a long-term goal for a very, very long time. Even when I'm miserable, I feel confident that I can find my back back to this.

Another thing I've really been enjoying is not being the type to panic. It's really fantastic! I honestly can't remember the last time I panicked, but I don't think I really appreciated what a fabulous trait that is until recently. It's really powerful because it's like a magical shield against everything that weakens those things we need most in a crisis. And I just don't have to worry about it. The more shit is flying and the more that's blowing up around me the calmer I get. Even my complaining is almost totally detached from my actual mindset.

Anyway, thank God, Golden Week is here. And off to a proper start with anime and a thunderstorm. Since I'm only on about 4 hours of sleep for the last 24 hours, I don't plan to stay up much longer, but so far, things are good. Life is good, for the time being. I like that I can see that.

I'll have plenty to do with myself, and having done that cleaning up on my unscheduled day off last week, my space is much more pleasant. I am so easily influenced by my environment.... But anyway, books, a very little anime, movies, various Internet things, and I'm still planning on going to the Kariyushi live [the day after] tomorrow.... I'm looking forward to my week of seclusion, actually.


sjcarpediem: (Default)


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