sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Feb. 12th, 2011 09:46 pm)
Miserable freezing rain, 3C (-3C)

My go ranking dropped. That's it. No more resigning games. Once I know I'm losing, I'll just play crazy till the other guy passes.

I want to be good at go, damnit! Someone teach me in a language I understand very well and easily....

I want to be good at so many things, but I feel like this is the biggest challenge for me right now.

In other [less significant, mind you,...] news, I signed contracts and got the key for my new apartment today. So much Japanese legalese I couldn't speak or write properly for an hour or so after... Tomorrow I move in. All the utilities except Internet are on. I have to arrange a new contract with NTT [East, remember?].

Tuesday I get my last paycheck from GEOS ; I plan to buy appliances with it.

I also need to get tea towels for introduction gifts to my neighbors. I think I'll go out for that after the boxes are moved and at least the futon and clothes chest is sorted.

No more morning and evening go games for a while. I hope to get a tall, wide bookcase soon (also with Tuesday's pay, but on Rakuten so delivery won't be immediate), then I can unpack my books--including the go ones, and I'll read those again. Maybe this time it'll sink through my hard, thick skull into my brain, where I'll make good use of it.

I'd like to get several things with that paycheck. I hope it's bigger than I'm expecting!

Still no word on two of the parttime jobs I applied to--one already said I live too far away from them. No other ideas for paying tuition, yet.

After another two weeks or so, I should be back online. To various effect.

God help me--on so many fronts.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Feb. 3rd, 2011 08:52 am)
Partly sunny, 3C (3C)

OHNOEZ! The raffle has been cancelled! Two days after it was supposed to be held! Now, where is my magical liberating windfall going to come from!?

I already started applying for parttime teaching jobs this week... wish me luck!

I need appliances and furniture! I want a savings account! I want to pay my taxes! I want to be able to afford my tuition once I finally get into graduate school (and for cantankerous reasons, student loans are not available)! I need to buy some new clothes as I keep losing weight! I have to keep buying traveler's health insurance! I want to repay my debts! God help me! It's overwhelming. And, as expected, the higher salary will be absorbed by the fact that I'm earning it in Tokyo. Even with a well-paying parttime job, I won't be able to afford all of that...

I've almost got the apartment, and it's a good deal--better than what most of my coworkers have--but it's still going to cost 1/3 of my salary (including the deposit for my company to guarantee me). 1/3! That's really dangerous! So I need to increase my income!! (Also, I still don't know just how much of my salary I'll be getting on payday...)

God, please let me see how everything works out for the best... In recent months I've been running into a lot of those writing/thinking prompts that ask you to imagine a time that you thought things worked out badly, but in hindsight, you see they worked out for the best so I've been thinking about this repeatedly over a longish period of time and I've found : I don't have times like those. What is that supposed to meeeaaan!?

I can't come up with a single time in my life when that's been the case : I am buffeted around by forces I can't control, try to land on my feet and when I don't I try to at least get onto them, I try to make the best of a situation and get the most out of it developmentally, practice being a good person as much as I can and just when I'm getting good at it, or just when I'm about to transition to the next thing, that old unforseeable wind blows again. It's never a matter of, "oh, it would have been better if that had worked out" just "that became an impossibility I couldn't surmount so I've tried to grow anyway"... While I may have picked up a thing or two on the alternate route, they don't really compare to what I would have gained if things had just gone my way. It's not that I don't appreciate what I have learned ; more like, I still appreciate what I wanted. Or something... I'm still working on that part of my personality, though. So, one day, maybe I'll have a proper answer for those kinds of prompts...

Speaking of Tokyo. It's not Kansai. This is kindof sad. It makes me feel kindof lonely and more out-of-place than usual because I haven't really found things I like to do here, or ways to do the things I've enjoyed in the past. And I won't be able to start looking, really, for quite a while, still. It's going to be hard. March may not be so difficult, but February is going to suck. July, August, September, October, November, December, January, and now February, too... I hope the suck ends with February. God help me.

Oh, but also speaking of Tokyo, later this month I'm going with a bunch of junior high school kids to various sights and attractions around town--so maybe that'll be fun! :-)
sjcarpediem: (Painting - Monet Spring Garden Bridge)
( Jan. 8th, 2011 10:17 am)
Partly sunny, 2C (4C)

Between the short sleep, the heating issues at school (as in, my classroom not being much warmer than the snow flurries outside), and the little pots of infectious disease I teach, I may have caught a going-away cold.


I'll see what I can do about it. But if it's caught, it's caught, and that's just gonna suck a lot for me...

I've decided not to make my lunch for today--to avoid having one more thing to potentially forget at the school--and will buy something from the grocery on the way in ; to which, speaking of which, I will soon go. No use sitting around fretting about packing my laundry detergent while I still have one last load to wash (tonight)...

Calm, happy, efficient thoughts...

This past month has been something else... and it's not over, yet. The only moves I'm used to being this sudden are generally bad or disaster or both. But maybe after this I can break that mould. I hope.
Partly cloudy, 2C (-1C)

So, tomorrow's my last day at work.

I'm pretty anxious I'll forget to bring something important home with me.

The week has been so terribly... normal... that's it's not hard imagining I'll forget more than once that it's my last day. I just hope I remember before it's too late/too much of a pain in the butt to rectify any forgetfulness on my part...

It's hard to stop myself staying up late to do packing and whatnot at home when I've already decided that I'm not going to spend so much time over it and will simply finish things quickly in a dense flurry of tying up loose ends. And hoping I don't leave out something important.

I need to get more drugs for sleeping on my way out of town, while I still know where to find them.

I'm going to see Unstoppable tomorrow night.

The plan is as follows :
  1. get last things from school (including shoes and calendars!)
  2. take them to my apartment
  3. have a lovely dinner (lovely-ish? if I don't make it for lunch tomorrow, instead), possibly pack away spices and oven dishes
  4. go to the movies (using one of my free passes!)
  5. come home, shower, possibly take drugs to induce sleep, possibly pack for no more than an hour
  6. wake up early Sunday (I'm thinking 7-ish) to finish off packing and make lunch
  7. send off takkyubin (between noon and 2)
  8. send off hikkoshi (they'll call in the morning, around 9, with a pick-up schedule)
  9. do move-out checklist for apartment together with company and row-house representatives
  10. leave apartment for the last time ; god willing before 4:30PM
  11. resell bicycle on the way to the train station or else leave it for quits
  12. pick up sleep-inducing pills from the drugstore to chemically aid adjustment to 6AM-mornings
  13. take train to Kyoto station
  14. BUY OMIYAGE! (1 big one for new office ; 3 small ones, one for each of the ppl who decided to hire me ; 1 small one for the company kaicho who is letting me sleep on the 3rd floor for a month--I was going to buy these tonight, but yappari, Moriyama's omiyage blow too hard)
  15. leave Kansai
  16. enter Tokyo
  17. start crazy new life full of mystery... and botulism (minus the botulism, please!!)
  18. win raffle, thereby solving all money problems : move into nice *and* convenient apartment with everything I "need" ; pay my taxes ; repay old school loans ; pay new (god willing!) tuition and textbook bills ; pay for a new suit, lunch out, and two bottles of Dr. Pepper ; etc....

And now I don't actually have time to eat a proper dinner so I'll dry my hair, finish my tea while I watch one (maybe two) eps of a happy, cracky anime then pray and god willing get good rest so I can wake up early tomorrow and make a proper lunch without risking being late to work.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jan. 6th, 2011 01:32 am)
Some clouds, 7C (2C)

Ahh... I'm officially, by my schedule, ahead of schedule with the packing and whatnot--but I'll just say that I've finally [!?! wtvr, it was me who did no packing for three whole days and wasn't even home for another two over the recent winter holiday..!#%!] barely caught up since that's more what it feels like. Seeing as how I have three nights left to finish everything off, I still might be staying up late Saturday night to be certain everything is sorted away properly.

I'm still debating just how to handle the packing of the modem and accoutrements. I'll probably put them in the big takkyubin suitcase even though I won't be using it until after my second move.... because god knows I'll just *have* to use the Internet half an hour before I leave and my cellphone browser somehow won't be enough...


I'm going to bed, soon, before I think about that (the time constraints and lists of work still to finish) too much.

I've been meditating a lot on prayer, lately. I don't think I wrote it down, anywhere, but "prayer" is a topic I intend to study during the month [and, god willing, not more!] that I probably won't be online after moving... Today I learned at least one very important thing about prayer--well, something I already knew, but an application point. Basically, I'm not going to ask or entrain god to help me anymore : instead I'll just be thankful for it. Oh, but, really... the metaphysical properties of the High Holidays are a cakewalk compared to all the depth and sophistication of prayer... I could (and probably will) study it for a lifetime...

P.S. I'm totally kicking the ass of this "being decent in spite of myself" challenge. And lately lots of students are telling me they think I'm a great teacher. I'm really trying not to get a big head over it, but it does give me a little more confidence that maybe beyond my adaptability, I have qualities and skills that will help me flourish in my new situation. I also hope my work becomes a little more fun, too, though. Y'know... I'll be in high school again. That's so crazy... given my fixation on "normal high school life" it's also pretty fascinating.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jan. 4th, 2011 10:59 am)
Partly sunny, 7C (11C)

I feel so overwhelmed right now it's not even funny. I woke up feeling so overwhelmed... God help me.

I so DO NOT want to go to work. I can't believe I was actually doing the math to figure out how much I'd lose out if I skipped a day... But I can't afford it--even if I can afford it, I can't afford it.

I also unearthed some extremely unpleasant information yesterday. Of course I'm ultimately responsible, but it's the one thing I asked my mother for help with and she agreed (having gone through similar trouble herself, I thought I could trust that) and now I'm so completely fucked over that it will, literally, take a miracle to resolve the situation. Or a lot more time than I have. Really, though, I should have anticipated this--well, actually, I did, but I didn't care because there's nothing I can do about it, anyway... Which means everything that seemed nearly within grasp is now possibly not even on the horizon... God help me.

This is the place we call "the edge" and I'm all over it. I just hope I've grown beyond being a monster to ppl just because I'm in a horrifyingly perilous position, myself. I smell a challenge!

Also : not to self--do not move in winter! It sucks!

Shit, time is fleeting...
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jan. 3rd, 2011 11:38 am)
Partly sunny, 5C (7C)

I'm still in Shiga. Perhaps this is not surprising.

I think going out of town the week before a move is a good break for me--but, this time... well, I'm still moody and pissy and not looking forward to having to learn fucking Tokyo. I find myself thinking things like, "this job had better be worth it!" which is both foolish and naive. No job is worth it. I have to makerebuild a [whole] life that's worth it and obviously because I'm (a) not a trust-fund baby and (b) was raised with a sense of responsibility for being productive work is always going to be a part of that life but no work alone is worth the frustration and irritation (and agony? Oh, dramatics!) of moving and making a life somewhere else. It's expensive, it's exhausting, it tries you in ways you don't want to be tried, etc... I should know!

Which is all to say I woke up feeling like a mopey little bitch this morning and am now questioning even more strongly whether I can really get everything done in time (of course I will--there's no choice not to...) and want to just curl up with some anime and be happily stimulated in my mind and numb to the world and it's tribulations around me. In fact, this urge is so strong that--for the moment, at least--this is exactly the plan after I get just a few (but nowhere near all!) of my to-dos for today done. Just a few, and then I'm taking a break from this ; or I'll break, and it's nowhere near time for that (yes, there is a time for that--growing a bit involves breaking a bit, duh). I'll deal with the rest of the day when it comes--right now I'll focus on the next five minutes. God help me.

Also, my body is still so full of food and I'm not really enjoying it. It's okay, body! Starting today we're eating sanely again! I promise! It'll get better! Just hang in and process! ( <-- anthem of my life... )

Oh, yeah, my dream :

I was in a building which was a lot like my high school building, only it was four stories high instead of two, and it was a hospital instead of a high school. I was part of a radical group trying to secure some basic human right. Some totalitarian government had surrounded the place and was laying siege to it, without breaking the glass (which was perhaps the most disturbing part). Then there was a lull in the pressure as they were preparing an insurgence with special forces that were being planted inside, amongst us, within that lull. I was part of some underground/intelligence agency within the radical group. I found out about someone on the outside that might be able to save me and my sister-not-my-sister-maybe-just-some-younger-member-I-was-close-to-or-whatever.

The dream was mostly our slow, long walk through the daylight streaming into the hall on the fourth floor, down the four flights of stairs, through our family-in-arms, through the marauding "foreign" [home!] army, and to a deli in the dusk-darkened corner of a rice paddy where the man who owned it made good sandwiches and sold train tickets to dissidents like myself. We went to the train station and found our sleeper train--it was one of the ones I'd used in Europe, with the split levels and viewing points.

I remember it was kinshi to speak--we'd be found out by any language we used and my voice. I had to look forward with a calm expression, but couldn't look anyone in the eye because the color would give us away. Talk about exercises in avoidance. And even on the train, our compartment was shared with two members of the fighting group that had been at the school-cum-hospital, so we still could hardly breath. Not that anyone in that army was actually violent towards any of us--it was just the principle of the matter. I lay down on the bed, my little-whatever on the bunk above me and just as I closed my eyes in the dream I opened them in life. My hair still smells like the shampoo from the onsen.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Dec. 29th, 2010 03:01 pm)
Partly sunny, 8C (7C)

  • So members of my family once ruled over the Veneto (esp as dukes and margraves (maybe the French is more familiar : marquis) of Friuli.
    [Also! I found the connection to that guy from Cysoing that I became quite obsessed with learning more about and indeed, we are related at least twice.]

  • In high school I was assigned to a write a review/report of Titian (a Venetian).

  • I've always wanted to learn the violin and one of the most prolific composers for the violin (of one of my favorite periods for western classical music), Vivaldi, was a Venetian. Maybe I can learn violin, there?

  • Also, it's beautiful, has an interesting and long history, and the food is mostly good.

So I think, god willing everything with this move to Tokyo works out and I can manage to (a) get completely in to graduate school, (b) pay for it, (c) graduate ; my next move will be to Venice (and they have two active synagogues! no less than Tokyo!).

This has been brought to you in the midst of slow packing. Slowly, but at least progressing... to the soundtrack of Francesco's Venice, thanks to YouTube. (Documentaries on Italy are fantastic for packing!!)
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Dec. 28th, 2010 11:56 pm)
Light shower, 7C (-2C)

My gosh... I feel so tired. And borderline overwhelmed. I was super anxious last night so didn't get enough sleep. It kindof sucked. I'm not just mentally tired but also physically from dragging a suitcase full mostly of books home from the train station and up to my apartment.

This phase of the diet is winding down much earlier than planned for various reasons and I'm already concerned about it but there's nothing I can do, really. This phase is considerably more complicated than the second (and previous) since it's more about stabilizing than continuing to lose. I didn't lose as much as I had intended even though I'm sure if these other factors hadn't played in I would have reached my goal. Now I just don't want to screw it up and gain it back. Which is why I freak out a little when stress and lack of sleep cause me to retain more water (I think...?) and show a gain on the scale rather than just not a loss...

Tonight the plan is to relax. And attack again, tomorrow. With packing and some paperwork (though, frankly, the paperwork might wait until "next year"). I am glad I decided lying sleepless in my bed last night that it would be better if I packed things from the school today than going in tomorrow. Now I have it here and waiting. I should probably throw some more of it away--it's hard to know what I should throw out, though... I have a few ideas, though. Maybe.

But I also forgot to get some of a particular spice when I went shopping, tonight [even though I made a list! but this spice wasn't *on* the list, so...], and now I've run out. Meh.

Anyway, back to relaxing. I'm at about 45% done packing--which is the point where you've done a lot but know you're not even really halfway, yet. This is perhaps the most frustrating point in packing for me... It's so demoralizing. So tonight I rest ; tomorrow I scrape and claw. I want to be basically done in the next three days (because after that I'm going to Kobe for two days) ; basically living out of my suitcase for the last week I'm here and just have a handful of bulky but simple things to put in boxes after I go see a movie (Unstoppable) after my last day of work... Then I'll get some good rest, wake up the next day not underslept or freaking out about having forgotten or not gotten to something, ship my things ahead of me, sell my bike back to the used bicycle shop on the way to the train station and be on my way to Tokyo well, well before the last train. God help me.

I'm also finding it difficult to judge, for example, if I should try to pack the rest of my jug of cold-water laundry detergent. I mean, Tokyo is supposed to have all sorts of things available that are much more difficult to find in the rest of Japan, but I'm gonna be pissed off and take it kindof hard if I throw away six months' worth of cold-water detergent only to find it's still only available on a fluke. But then it might also be pretty annoying to go to the trouble of taking it along if cold-water detergent is available in every third store... I've lived abroad long enough to prefer having more than enough ; but I've moved enough to appreciate cutting off any lose flesh I can. Conflict and conundrum.

As far as deciding what to keep or toss regarding work--I know only enough to know I don't know enough to make really good decisions, oh, and that there's no way for me to learn enough in the time and with the resources I do have.

For now, at least, I think I have plenty of boxes. And enough tape. Above these other concerns is making the decisions between what things I'll need and use (and possibly want) in the next month and therefor pack in the suitcases and what things are likely to be able to wait for six-ish weeks without making me regret it. Meh.
Some clouds, 4C (1C)

Oh, I feel so exhausted. Received, signed, and return-mailed my new contract, today. That was exciting and quite a relief.

I haven't packed any more in the past two nights (are we counting tonight? I think so...). I feel freaked out and anxious about that but I'm too tired to do much about it. Tomorrow is another hellish day [work has been especially enraging this week, but we'll not go into any of that], but then I have two days holiday--hopefully in which to PACK!PACK!PACK--work one day, then six days to basically finish packing [then one last week of work, here]. Well, it'll end up being only 5 days because I have to say g'bye to ppl in Kobe. I don't actually like compressing my packing by so much, but realistically, if I just work straight through it shouldn't take more than two days--three if we count stopping to go find a newspaper to buy and pack breakables in...

And I haven't even tried calling NTT about temporarily suspending my Internet service... god help me, I do not look forward to that. I cannot understand their automated menus to save my life. It sucks. Maybe I'll just wuss out and ask for help. I hate doing that, though. I was born and raised in America, you know, and Americans like to do things all by themselves. Especially this one.

And I don't even know who I'd ask--my Mg now is not really a Mg ; my old coworker in Kobe is already so busy with her school, this would take her maybe 15 minutes and I know she'd be willing to help me with it... ; my new Mgs are in Tokyo/England and I'll probably ask one of them to help me out on that end, so.... I guess I should just contact my old coworker about it.... WoW, I suck...

Man, but for now I really should dry my hair and get to my bedtime routine--I've replied to all the emails I meant to (I'm pretty sure...), and dl'd some goodies for whatever time I may be offline, so...
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Dec. 23rd, 2010 12:57 am)
Some clouds, 12C (10C)

Moving [obligatory, obviously]
I packed some more, but it still feels like I haven't done much/enough. Messy apartment, you suck. I don't want to just pack the mess (I ended up doing a little bit of that leaving Kobe). But I also don't want to throw away something I shouldn't, or have things that ought to go together packed in separate boxes at separate times--which makes packing slower. So far I've only packed books, anyway ; and only found two to throw out...

I still need to decide/plan my Kobe farewell, including choosing a date for that. And I still want to see Hikone castle before I leave Kansai--which means, basically, this weekend. Meh! These things feel so stressful, right now!

Monday movie
I forgot to write about it, but I went to see TRON : Legacy on Monday. Since Biohazard 4 (the zombie franchise with the blonde chick...), the studios have already gotten better at 3D. I'm excited about POTC4 because it looks like another leap forward--but into the slightly cartoonish. Looks like their 2D-ing all the characters 3D in their environments like cutout animation... I think it'll be next winter before the really cool stuff starts coming out with that tech... Anyway, TRON was so full of allegory and allusion that it was hard to enjoy the effects, though some of them were pretty darn attention-getting. I like that it was intentionally shot in both 2D and 3D to help develop the separation of worlds. Though the contrast seemed off for most of the movie--I guess that's one con of costuming with flexible halogen...

Oh, and I can't use one of my free tickets for 3D movies, it seems, so I'm one stamp away from a third free ticket, now. Tokyo should have Warner Brothers MyCal Cinemas...

Contract for new job
My new contract came while I was at work, today. The soonest I can get it redelivered and be here to accept is Friday morning. That kind of sucks for them ; their first date to have it returned was this Friday--impossible without personally courier-ing it to them. The next date is the 28th, which they'll just have to settle for. I like that it's actually here just waiting to be delivered, since I started breaking the news to students/parents today.

Closing salutation
I think it's increasingly important to have my nightly meditation and prayer these days, so I'm off to do just that.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Aug. 2nd, 2010 09:53 pm)
So I'm back in the inaka. Sure as shit, there's no Internet. I've tried to impress upon my mg that it is important to me that this particular aspect of the situation not remain as it is. She promised to make inquiries. Pray with and for me that they quickly bear an ripen the sweet fruit of connectivity...

There is a washing machine, which I have already had occasion to use, and an aircon with a three-hour power cut that I can't disable and no programmable on feature--the sum of which is altogether perturbing...

In any case, I'm sick of moving as of an hour ago and want little more than a double-portion of salary so I can outfit the place (I've decided I'll be sleeping on the loft to have more/versatile space), and, obviously, a high-speed Internet connection here (preferably wireless, but beggars can't be choosers).

Anyway, I have to go teach a bunch of kids, tomorrow and all the forseeable working days after that.

Post from mobile portal
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Aug. 2nd, 2010 09:29 am)
Partly sunny, 30C (36C)

Well, folks... I'm about to update my ICE post, try to skype mima one last time then finish packing and throw out whatever's left in the fridge. Having Internet at home again... is a dream I hope can come true in the very near future, but I just don't know...
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Aug. 1st, 2010 02:11 pm)
Partly sunny, 33C (38C)
Shipping day

Crap. I'm at that stage where basically everything is packed except for those few more things... I think I'm going to go to the grocery store for one more big box and try to throw together the "leftovers"... I don't want to end up carrying so much tomorrow, and I don't want to leave anything else behind. Kuroneko could be here in as little as a little less than threefive hours. So I'll finish lunch and go get that box.

===ETA 14:56===
Well... shit... I think I'm done for a bit...

20 boxes and 2 suitcases. 4 of those boxes are bookshelves, 1 is my awesome microwave oven, 1 is my less-so-but-still-awesome futon, 1 is not a box but a tube holding most of my "art", 1 is about 30% the cold-formula laundry detergent I bought earlier this year--yes, I'm bringing it with me!--and 1 is household cleaners. At least 8 are significantly, if not entirely, comprised of books. I didn't use the extensions on the suitcases. I should only have my carryon, my shamisen and my purse with me tomorrow, and I shouldn't have to throw away anything I didn't want to.

I'll chillax for an hour or so and review just to be sure...

I hope the tape sticks properly...

===ETA 19:30===

And now all my boxes are gone...
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jul. 31st, 2010 11:30 pm)
Mostly cloudy, 29C (34C)
T = 0 day

I feel like Kobe is the new NOLA. :'-(

I feel kindof sad and lonely. And tired.

I want to find some happy anime to watch for a little while before I do more packing and throwing away. I didn't do much at the school--I wasn't asked to, and couldn't anyway because I was busy teaching--but it seems to have taken a toll, anyway.

I don't know if I'd rather cry or sleep right now.

I have too much crap. But I want to keep it. Maybe one day I'll let myself. But I don't think that day is today--nor shall it be tomorrow.

I just hope the next place will be good. God help me finish this well, and in good time.
sjcarpediem: (Default)


( Jul. 31st, 2010 04:07 pm)
I am presently in a bit of turmoil...

Come November, there will be an opening at Sannomiya school. Do I try for it? Could it possibly be construed as contributing to the furtherance of my primary goal (achieving an advanced degree)??

Rent would be more than it is, now, the apartment closer to synagogue, my pay the same, the schedule busier, virtually no kids...

I'm not even halfway through the move I'm in the middle of, I can't really waste the mental energy on trying to decide whether or not to push for another one just this moment ; although it's only 4 months down the line so I'd better figure out my position on the matter, at the very least, fast...

Post from mobile portal
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jul. 31st, 2010 10:27 am)
Partly sunny, 30C (38C)
T = 0 day

So today is my last day teaching in Kobe. //insert frowny face

I thought I'd be able to make it through this week without any of my students crying. But then yesterday one of my classes (that had requested a tea party for their last lesson--how cool is that! I have two more such requests for today) let out but I forgot to give one of the students her last homework for me and I had to start the next class immediately. Just my luck, I heard her voice in the hall and ran out to return it to find this woman, who I actually admire a little bit, with her face covered in tears. Aww...

So packing at the school is basically done. I'll throw the last of my personal effects in my purse and the rest of whatever else in some boxes and shove them off to the side. And gently carry my Hitaro, who is of weak constitution when it comes to traveling. I'm taking my microwave with me, and leaving the school's old microwave here in the apartment. (My coworker is bringing her car to help me...) I got the repacking that I wanted at the apartment done last night. Tonight I should be able to mostly finish, and if I can't, I have tomorrow during the day--and that ought to be enough.

Ahh... money. Bah to that. I spent my book money on gifts in Kanazawa... Oh, well, I hope people like them I want to get books about children and their brains so I feel more prepared for me new job... Actually... maybe there is something I can use... indeed! And use it, I will! That's a nice bright spot!

Last night I also ordered my last pizza from Napoli Pizza. Of course, it was tasty. Tonight I'll have pasta and weiners. Tomorrow night I'll get something from the conbini after my things are taken away. The night after that I'll be in my new apartment, so I'm not sure what I'll do for food--probably something from a conbini and waiting for my things to arrive.

I'm on my way to almost being through this move. After that, I need to get through the next two weeks. God help me. I hope it's much better than I'm imagining...

Oh, and here's a Holy Fuck moment for the road : this is my 4th summer in Japan.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jul. 29th, 2010 10:56 am)
RAINY! 25C (28C)

Ppl, I have got my new address (here, it's one of the short, fat rooms). Actually, I got it Tuesday but it's taken me this long to calm the fuck down. Seriously, are they *looking* for the most miserable situation they can find? These schematics show there is no washing machine, not even a connection for a washing machine. WTF. Also, alas, only one burner again. The prospect of having two burners made me really happy, but now there's only one burner... The specs also show there is not Internet. DDDDDDDDDDD-:<<<<


I really need to stop thinking about this and just completely and utterly ignore it until it's right in my face. I mean, it is about a square meter larger than my current place (although it's two years older)... I'll be the first company occupant, so it should be clean and everything should be new-ish or at least up-to-date... The manager is very pro- getting me everything the move-in list says I'm supposed to have... At least it's not living out of a hotel with all my personal effects in storage at the school lobby, as head office had thought would be a brilliant "back up". It took throwing an extrended fit, though, and I hatehatehate doing that shit.

I don't know... I might have to move on my own. It depends, also, on what the rent is... If I have to pay more than 40,000yen for that decrepit shoeboxthis sort of place it's going to be especially difficult for me to see the point when I could have nearly 20m2 for 46,000 yen, and within 5 minutes of a station instead of 10, newer, with 2 burners, a washing machine, and the Internet....

I keep waffling on bringing my microwave oven.

In related news, I haven't got enough packed to be comfortable just yet--and to make matter worse I need to repack some things... =_= But I'm sure I'll pull through. I always do.
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jul. 20th, 2010 03:27 pm)
So I just got my contract, thank God, it's the fourth tier, which was the minimum I needed.

My Internet might not work when I get home, though, because of contracts between my company and the housing company changing.

Speaking of addresses, I still don't have my new one, but maybe that will change at some point, today...

Post from mobile portal
sjcarpediem: (Default)
( Jul. 18th, 2010 11:52 pm)
Some clouds, 25C (26C)
T - 13 days

I totally whipped a llama's ass packing, today. Now I need to stop and back away from the boxes for a bit before I do myself some trauma. It's considerably less organized than last time, but I think the main task will still be accomplished sufficiently. Even if I don't get anything else done, tomorrow, I will be comfortable going to Gion Matsuri in the evening, should I have the gumption, and that was the main goal for today. Congratulations, me. I even got the two other pressed-wood bookshelves I wanted to ; so moving in to the next apartment I should at least be able to surround myself with my amniotic sac of books pretty much right away, at the very least. And let's face it : that's what matters in my present situation.

Overall, I would assess my progress at about 60-65% of the whole and 85-90% of what I won't be using in the next two weeks. If I can get that other 10-15% done tomorrow I will be a happy camper as far as progress goes. I promise. I should probably pick up some more boxes tomorrow, just so I don't get anxious about not having enough boxes, though I could probably just make it with what I have, now... I get neurotic like that at these times.

This whole situation seems a little crazy, though.

Listening to shiurim while packing, and doing a lot of thinking about fear/anger, etc, I keep thinking that one of the biggest roots of my "troubles" is that I think either I'm not doing enough or that others will assess me as not doing enough ; also it's not particularly clear to me if I'm really not doing enough because I could do more or because that much is really out of my hands. The distinctions are pretty important when it comes down to taking any sort of action but otherwise, yeah... generalized feelings of inadequacy, much? (Maybe a little something like this--but not totally, so don't think I'm self-diagnosing or anything, here--the key differences being I'm a victim of circumstance, here (though that arguably can't hold much water considering how long I've remained a 'victim') and that I'm friendly and engaging when spoken, to, I just don't initiate as much as I probably would 'normally' (a lot of that has to do with practical worries about language, though, and not so much social worries)...)


sjcarpediem: (Default)


RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Powered by Dreamwidth Studios

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags