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Mostly cloudy, 11C (14C)
I'm so frustrated. It's about igo. After months and months, last night and today I logged back in to PandaNet and KGS.
I keep losing. I can make life but I always fall short on territory. But nobody wants to play a 13x13 board...
I know the shape I'm making is heavy and clunky and ugly, but I can't make a good shape. I'm always in gote and it sucks really hard. Whether I play white or black, I always have to respond and never get to initiate. I feel like a complete moron. Seriously. Complete. Moron. And playing more games... I'm just losing more. And I really don't want to be one of those ppl with 18000 losses and 11000 wins and still barely 16kyu... That's not cool. It's not fun. I want to enjoy it, damnit!
I duno what the hell to do to improve. It's pissing me off. My Japanese is so low that reading books on igo theory are too much work and trouble and I can't get through anything. Replaying my own games... not really useful. Maybe I should replay other games... for instance, those played by people who actually know how to play...
Tsumego are fine but don't address the problem of how to actually freaking play. I mean, I get the gist but none of my games ever seem to go that way. That's no good. Why don't they follow the standard sequence of phases!? The only thing I can guess is that lower-level players that I'm matched against don't know enough about it to know they're playing out of order, and I'm too low-level to get games with higher-level players.
On KGS, it's seriously like most of the ppl on there are just throwing stones around thinking, "I'll crush you!"--what about the game!? It's a goddamned game, not a first-person shooter. You have to build it.
I almost want someone sitting next to me to tell me if I'm understanding the board and the moves correctly. I don't want to play another pro until I can at least handle ppl in my own ranking. And I want to progress in the rankings!
I need to be more independent. I need to study more. I need to... somehow... come to some sort of understanding with this that allows it to be fun.
I'm so frustrated. It's about igo. After months and months, last night and today I logged back in to PandaNet and KGS.
I keep losing. I can make life but I always fall short on territory. But nobody wants to play a 13x13 board...
I know the shape I'm making is heavy and clunky and ugly, but I can't make a good shape. I'm always in gote and it sucks really hard. Whether I play white or black, I always have to respond and never get to initiate. I feel like a complete moron. Seriously. Complete. Moron. And playing more games... I'm just losing more. And I really don't want to be one of those ppl with 18000 losses and 11000 wins and still barely 16kyu... That's not cool. It's not fun. I want to enjoy it, damnit!
I duno what the hell to do to improve. It's pissing me off. My Japanese is so low that reading books on igo theory are too much work and trouble and I can't get through anything. Replaying my own games... not really useful. Maybe I should replay other games... for instance, those played by people who actually know how to play...
Tsumego are fine but don't address the problem of how to actually freaking play. I mean, I get the gist but none of my games ever seem to go that way. That's no good. Why don't they follow the standard sequence of phases!? The only thing I can guess is that lower-level players that I'm matched against don't know enough about it to know they're playing out of order, and I'm too low-level to get games with higher-level players.
On KGS, it's seriously like most of the ppl on there are just throwing stones around thinking, "I'll crush you!"--what about the game!? It's a goddamned game, not a first-person shooter. You have to build it.
I almost want someone sitting next to me to tell me if I'm understanding the board and the moves correctly. I don't want to play another pro until I can at least handle ppl in my own ranking. And I want to progress in the rankings!
I need to be more independent. I need to study more. I need to... somehow... come to some sort of understanding with this that allows it to be fun.
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